Coffee and TV – Blur

The one where a milk carton goes on an adventure
Released 1999

The music video for Coffee and TV has won several awards and has regularly featured in ‘best music video’ polls since its release in 1999, and it’s easy to see why. Probably a contender for most adorable rock video of all time?

We begin with Blur band member Graham Coxon, whose picture is on the side of a milk carton after going missing. His family are eagerly awaiting news from him but they’ve had no luck. They’re sitting around the breakfast table when the milk carton then gets up and does a little happy dance on the dining table. But everyone is so sad! Why are you sad? Sure, your son is missing but there’s an cute milk carton dancing in front of you! Why doesn’t my milk carton do a little happy dance in the morning for me?

Coffee and TV - Blur 1

You would never have a bad day with dancing dairy products

Seeing everyone’s sad faces Milky (yes, the milk carton actually has a name) decides to go out and find Graham himself! A milk carton that not only dances but displays initiative? Colour me impressed!

This is one of my favourite songs for my training, because when I go out for big long hikes I hear this song and instantly pick up my pace and walk like the milk carton. Haha. Oh, you think I’m joking?

Coffee and TV - Blur 5.gif

Literally me (source)

But the world is full of scary things for a milk carton. Like whipper snippers and motorbikes.

Luckily he gets a lift into the city on the said motorbike, and gets help from a few people. He comes across a can, before a group of children kick it away. Kick the can!? Payphones!? Milk that isn’t low fat or lactose free!? Children these days must watch this video and have no idea what is even going on.

Milky then finds a flyer for Big Suzy – she makes all your dreams come true. I bet this is going to end well.

Running away in understandable terror (sex with a milk carton? There’s probably a fetish for that), he then comes across a lady milk carton. Eyes on the job, Milky! He falls in love with her, because she’s pretty hot, let’s be real.

Coffee and TV - Blur 2

The Angelina Jolie of milk

But then someone comes along and stomps on her. This world is awful!!!

Milky then finds himself in the dark alleyway – this can’t be good. There are some angry looking cans and some scary looking plastic bottles (remember, plastic bottles live forever). It all seems to be getting increasingly hopeless when…

He finds Graham! He’s okay! He’s just jamming with his mates.

Coffee and TV - Blur 3

Like a few men I know, he’s probably just neglected to call his parents for a while. Like, long enough to find himself as a missing person on a milk carton. He then thinks about his family and has a realisation, ‘Oh maybe I should see them.’

Then without a further word to his band mates, he walks out – see, Graham you should probably tell them where you are going too. This is how you got yourself into this mess. People care about you! Next your bandmates will be putting a picture of you on a milk carton.

He then goes back home and before entering the house, takes one last swig from Milky.

But Milky is alive and does little happy dances, don’t kill him! What’s more, he has been out all day and night trying to find you and been out of the fridge the entire time, and he is probably rancid by now.

But then, a happy(ish) ending – Graham is reunited with his family and Milky, although dead, is reborn as an angel, and gets to live out the afterlife with his strawberry mate.

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True milk love forever

2 comments

  1. Alex's Crazy Stupid Blog · July 3, 2016

    Ah. Blur I find it almost impossible to be objective about, largely because my eldest sister (now 37) was a huge fan of theirs growing up, which meant I was too, so any of their songs or albums just immediately remind me of childhood and watching the ITV ‘Chart Show’ indie charts that they and Oasis frequented on – and Damon Albarn is a local lad as well, hailing from Earls Colne which is just up the road from me.

    I actually had both this and the single before it (‘Tender’) on cassette back in the day. Whilst their overall best album for me is ‘Parklife’ (fact – I’ve stayed in the Pilot Inn hotel in Greenwich that’s on the same street they filmed the video for the title track of said album on. It now overlooks the green by the O2 Arena in London so isn’t so much a street as a series of former dockers’ cottages looking incredibly out of place with all the modern development they’ve done in the 22 years since), the ’13’ album had some great moments and this was one of them, and I loved the video.

    Like

    • Sizzle · July 8, 2016

      Brilliant, Lynelle! This is going straight to my ’90s Popcorn Hall of Fame’ list!

      Like

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