Tragedy – Steps

The one where girls inexplicably have their weddings hijacked for no discernible reason
Released 1998

What is it with Steps and their, well, dance steps? I remember all of them as though these songs were released yesterday. Knowing dance moves to Steps songs is of no importance to my life as it currently stands (perhaps it is a skill called for in the future) and yet, it is seared into my brain. If my life movie was Inside Out, my only core memories would be STEPS DANCE MOVES.

Tragedy 7 - Steps

My memory is a … TRAGEDY

If you’re keen on reading up on the origin of said dance moves for Ancient Pop History – Steps Module then I suggest you take a look at this article. I’m still not sure if either of those stories are really real though. TRAGEDY.

The video begins with Lee waking with a start to his novelty alarm clock (they are a bit of a novelty band, after all). He then runs in to rouse H, who is peacefully asleep with his Winnie the Pooh plush toy (TRAGEDY). It appears that all the Steps ladies are getting married on the same day. Well that’s just shit scheduling on their part isn’t it? How on earth are H and Lee going to go to three weddings in a day? (TRAGEDY).

Cut to Faye walking down the aisle with her dreads. Note she isn’t wearing a veil, but a chandelier on her head. It’s the bridal version of the Aussie cork hat (TRAGEDY).

Tragedy 8 - Steps

Keeps the flies away

If you’re wondering why all the extras in this video look a bit awkward and look similar to the band members, it is because they are their actual families. What a genius way to not have to spend the budget on extras!

Lee and H yell and scream to get her attention, and then without any further explanation she’s off! She’s running away from the groom, while everyone is all like WTF then:

Tragedy 3 - STeps

TRAGEDY!!

Leaving Faye …somewhere … Lee and H then they sneak to Lisa’s wedding to tie up her hubby to be.

Tragedy 4 - Steps

Guys, the stag do was a week ago!

She rocks up and sees that Lee is standing there instead. What does she do? Say, ‘Lee, what are you doing here, you aren’t my fiancee’. Nope, she says ‘Totes amazeballs’ and strolls off with him.

Tragedy 5 - Steps

Surprise! It’s me, your work colleague Lee.

By now we’ve got the gist of what is happening so we aren’t wondering what’s going to happen to poor Claire, but how is it going to happen? H is screaming down the aisle in a scooter (TRAGEDY) before Lee literally throws her over his shoulder and carries her out.

They then all stand outside a church while confetti blows over them, because if there was ever a time for confetti, it’s definitely after you’ve destroyed three relationships in one day.

Tragedy 6 - Steps

Meanwhile all three grooms console each other with Lisa’s groom still tied up… I mean, seriously guys I think you can probably untie him. Maybe this is why the boys saved the girls from marrying these guys, they are clearly a bit dim (TRAGEDY).

They all then have a party and bust out those Steps dance moves that I clearly know so well (core memories, remember). I wonder, if like a real wedding, if anyone hooked up. If no one did, it would be a … TRAGEDY. For all those playing along at home, the wedding DJ is record producer Pete Waterman.

By the way, where exactly is the tragedy for Steps members in this video? For people who have had their weddings ambushed by fellow band members I feel like they are having a right good time of it. The only people that are having the real tragedy is the grooms, and I’m sorry, but at the end of the video they still haven’t thought to untie Lisa’s poor not-hubby so they probably deserve it.

Tragedy 2 - Steps

I also feel Faye’s chandelier is worth an induction into the Ridiculous Hats Hall of Fame. It’s not a hat, but it’s on top of her head and fairly ridiculous, so that’s good enough for me. Sorry Faye. TRAGEDY!

Faye Tozer

 

2 comments

  1. Kristin · June 17, 2016

    Hey Lovey… Probably haven’t expressed enough appreciation of your blog but I love it like a fat Kristin loves the BSB😉 Where’s the Aaron Carter post!? I promise to comment if you post it!!!

    Like

    • 90spopcorn · June 19, 2016

      It’s on its way! I started writing it and then had Crush on You in my head for DAAAYS. Now I’m scared to go back to it, haha. Plus I felt really creepy studying a music video centered around a 10 year old boy… !

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s