Trouble – Shampoo

The one where two girls try a variety of unsuccessful modes of transport to get home after a big night out.
Released 1994

Shampoo were kind of the predecessors to the Spice Girls. They even released an album called ‘Girl Power’ in 1995 before the Spice Girls spruiked it and we responded by running around by doing sport at school with giant platform sneakers (no? Just me?). According to Wikipedia (so it must be true), Shampoo started out by writing fanzines about the Manic Street Preachers, so if any record execs are reading this, I totally wrote some great Hanson fanfics back in the day.

A subsequent music video for this song was made, featuring the one and only Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Because if a song is going to sum up the children’s TV show Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, it is definitely a song about staggering home after a massive night out. Anyway, I suggest you check it out because it is probably the most 90s thing that ever happened. In fact, if my grandchildren ask me what the 90s was like I will probably just put on that video (and show them my copy of Totally JTT).

Shampoo - Trouble 1

My face on releasing the Power Rangers was nearly 25 years ago

Going back to the original video, it opens with the girls getting unceremoniously kicked out of a pub. Considering they’re not drunk (they’re walking too straight for that, from my mighty morphin’ powers of deduction), they perhaps graffitied the loos or clogged up the loos or graffitied and clogged up the loos with shampoo, hence their name. To make matters worse, a dad is standing outside the house nodding disapprovingly. Gotta get home!

Shampoo - Trouble 4

He’s checking his watch. Definitely in deep (sham)poo now.

Considering the girls are from Plumstead that’s a fair hike. I googled the distance from ‘The O Bar’ (the pub they got kicked out of) to Plumstead and it’s 12 miles (or nearly 19km). See?

Shampoo - Trouble 5

A casual four hour stroll from the pub would soon sober you up

However, they’ve missed the last train, don’t have any money for a taxi and the night bus never came. So the girls keep walking (side note: the Melbourne version of this song would definitely be ‘I tried to get a taxi but they drove off because the fare was too short and wasn’t on the drivers way home’).

The girls are now at Chelsea Bridge! What are you doing? You’re going in the completely wrong direction, check out the map! See, this is what you get when you wear sunglasses at night.

Shampoo - Trouble 3

“It’s cool, I think we’re in Deptford, not long now.”

The police pick up the girls – oh, good, they’ll get home safely without getting mugged or worse. But no, it appears that they literally took them for a ride – as per the lyrics – and dropped them off at some random park. Serve and protect!

Soon, it’s daylight and the dad has brought his dog out I mean, that isn’t a great sign. Actually, I really hope it’s supposed to be their dad and not some random stalker that’s all like ‘I wonder where those pretty girls are…”

The girls finally manage to get a ride home on the milk truck. The milk truck! That way they can get home before midday and get a handy dose of calcium on the way.

Shampoo - Trouble 6

Let’s hope the milk truck isn’t driving to Berkshire.

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