Larger Than Life – Backstreet Boys

The one where a cryogenically frozen boyband is thawed to show the future how to win a space war through the power of dance.
Released 1999

I first heard this song when my best friend brought the new Backstreet Boys album to school in her discman.
“You have to listen to this song!!” she squealed.
I put on the headphones as she eagerly awaited my reaction.
“OH MY GOD THEY’VE GONE HEAVY METAL.”
Disturbingly, I meant it quite legitimately at the time. I was so completely immersed in saccharine pop that to me, this song sounded like Backstreet Boys had gone full Korn.

The music video was an event in itself, having cost a trillion dollars to make (okay, apparently $3 million US in today’s money), and back in the day, those of us without pay TV had to wait until the weekend video shows came on before seeing it.

At the time, the opening scene with the spaceship hovering past probably was worth a million alone. This was when Geocities sites were the height of graphic ingenuity.

I, for one, am glad that the Backstreet Boys have been cryogenically frozen until the year 3000 to fight off space invaders. By the way, who made this decision? The Government? Dodgy record company exec?
“Guys we should freeze the Backstreet Boys because they’ll come in handy for a space fight in a 1000 years.”
“GENIUS IDEA GREG.”
A robot wakes them up (played by the same man who was the bus driver in the Everybody (Backstreets Back) video and Huggy Bear in the Starsky and Hutch TV series), cue AJ:
“EEEAAAHHHA! HA HA HA HAAAAAH!”
Dudes been asleep for 1000 years and he hasn’t even had a coffee, what’s in that cryogenic juice, brah?
I think we are supposed to believe they are all making an attempt at being a vital cog of this Year 3000 Space War. To be honest, I’m not really sure what most of them are meant to be doing, but that could be because I’m from the past, and what would I know about the year 3000 (apparently not much will change, but they live underwater).

Clearly though, poor Kevin is the only one out there on the front line. Well, someone has got to be. I mean, what is Howie doing wearing a cricketers uniform and wooing a chick.

Backstreet Boys - Larger Than Life 3

I will defeat the aliens with a hit for six and an appropriately timed sledge

If I was Kevin, the only one out there actually fighting, I’d be a bit pissed off.

Backstreet Boys - Larger Than Life 2

“Guys WTF can you stop dancing and actually help?”

Isn’t it ironic that Nick is hanging out with mindless robots given he went out with Paris Hilton only a few years later. By the way, have you checked out the size of his codpiece? Bloody hell.

Nick Carter

Thanks to the middling effort by Nick, Brian, AJ and Howie, they now find themselves in a tenuous situation. There’s loads of spaceships coming in! Kevin can’t fight them off on his own! What’s a boyband to do!?!

A COORDINATED DANCE ROUTINE THAT’S WHAT.

Yes, despite the continuing battle raging outside, the Backstreet Boys and their friends decide to have a little boogie to finally win this war once and for all. After all, what were the Backstreet Boys brought back for if not a dance or two? Because 90s kids spent a 38% of their childhood learning cheesy pop dance routines #FACT

We continue to see the battle raging on, Kevin doing his best with no thanks to his bandmates. The war is won, and the Backstreet Boys go back to sleep, ready to wheeled out again whenever the time is appropriate.

So thank you Kevin Richardson: Destroyer of Evil, Protector of the Realm and Wielder of the Fierce Brows.

Backstreet Boys - Larger Than Life 4

One comment

  1. Alex's Crazy Stupid Blog · April 23, 2016

    Megalolz at the ‘hanging out with robots/Paris Hilton’ analogy 😂 👍

    Like

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